Suzanne Andrews, 46, an occupational therapist near Daytona Beach, Fla., realized there was a problem the first time she and her husband, Glenn, 53, tried to make love.
She guessed it was ED, or erectile dysfunction, but didn’t know the cause, or the remedy. As the host of Functional Fitness, which airs on her local PBS station, WDSC TV, Andrews is used to solving challenges at work -- and she was equally determined to find a solution in the bedroom.
Erectile dysfunction, which affects an estimated 15 million to 30 million Americans and is more prevalent in men over 40, is defined as the inability to achieve or maintain an erection adequate for sexual function. It can be precipitated by medication, depression, stress, hormonal abnormalities, and other factors.
"It’s really common," says Ira Sharlip, MD, a urologist in the San Francisco area. "There is good evidence now that erectile dysfunction, in some cases, is a precursor or future marker for cardiovascular disease."
Sign of a Bigger Problem?
Sharlip recommends getting your guy evaluated for cardiovascular risk if there is a persistent erectile issue that lasts for three months or longer.
Recent research has also shown that ED may be linked to diabetes, high cholesterol, hypertension, as well as the early stages of heart disease, so encouraging your man to set up a checkup with his doctor is a good starting point.
"The problem is, there are men who don’t come in because of embarrassment and denial," Sharlip says. "If a man develops erectile dysfunction, he has a window of opportunity to make some lifestyle changes that may reduce his risk of having a heart attack."
How to Talk to Your Man About Sex
Every couple has issues in the bedroom, so that’s normal, says Marianne Brandon, PhD, clinical psychologist, sex therapist, and author of Reclaiming Desire.
"I would encourage her to acknowledge how normal it is to have some sexual concerns," Brandon says. "If she can say, ‘I know we have a great sex life and everyone has concerns,’ that’s going to help him feel less criticized."
If couples don’t talk about their concerns, those issues tend to gain momentum over time, Brandon says. "Even though those conversations can be difficult to start, think about the conversation as being good for the future of your relationship," she says.
Her advice: The most important thing is to start with praise.
Andrews followed that advice in talking with her husband and stressed that she wanted to work through it together. "I told him that I loved him," she says, "and it didn’t make him any less of a man because he had this problem. I said, ‘I’m going to be there for him and support him.’"
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